19 September 2007

Backed up Boot "N Paddle

This may shock some of you. It should shock all of you. Oh my gosh…I’m going to get into trouble for this…
Okay, there is, wow, this is hard. There is, well, okay. It snowed a couple of days ago. That typically doesn’t happen this time of year. In fact, I looked it up, and it has never happened. Ever.
You might also have noticed the new building on campus. They call it the “Science Center.” Hmmm…a building dedicated to science that doesn’t have any people in it… “Okay,” I asked myself, “what’s going on?”
I decided to swing by the “Science Center” and get to the bottom of things.
As soon as I touched the front door, I knew I was onto something. I always thought the building was made out of steel, cement, brick etc. Wrong. The front door is made out of balsa wood. As is the entire building. Even the glass!
So why exactly was the “Science Center” so expensive to build? Keep reading…
I walked down the building’s long corridors and rode up and down the delicate balsa wood elevators. Nothing.
But then, on the roof, I found…oh boy, this is what’s going to get me into trouble… St. Lawrence University and its scientists have developed a machine that is capable of manipulating weather and have built it on the roof of the new “Science Center!”
Why would they want such a machine? Admissions, probably.
Why would they use it to make snow at such an odd time of the year? Well, I can’t say for sure, but I would imagine they are still trying to work the kinks out of it. Just wait, I’ll bet you (after the snow storm fiasco) the weather starts getting much nicer. Green grass, blossoming trees, birds will even be affected by the machine! They’ll start singing!
Don’t expect the “Science Center” to open anytime soon. They can’t risk discovery of their device. In the fall there may be an electrical problem. The spring, while trying to stock the building, there will be a serious chemical spill that will force haz mat teams to shut the building down for at least a year.
It’s a money making scheme. For all you know, St. Lawrence and its scientists could have manipulated you into coming here. Why did you come to school here? Think about it.

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